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SoonerTimes Home > SoonerTimes > OU Sports > Off-topic, off-season, and off-the-wall – your favorite jokes, puns, or one-liners


Off-topic, off-season, and off-the-wall – your favorite jokes, puns, or one-liners
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Triple Option
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 Posted: Tue Mar 5th, 2019 03:51 pm

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boomermet wrote:
Walt wrote:
Triple Option wrote:
Wasn't feeling well earlier, but went ahead and grilled up some hot dogs and brats. My neighbor, who raises birds, smelled them, and said he'd trade me a bird for one of the brats. I said sure. I guess it was a bad idea, because I took a tern for the wurst.
Good thing I pointed out a tern ... otherwise you would never have gotten this joke. :lol:

Was at the beach one day and the terns were really bothering us so we started throwing stones at them. Believe me no stones were left unterned

Sort of like the guy who got his kicks from pouring beer in a pan for the birds at the beach. The barley or something in the beer attracted them, and they guzzled it down, and were flopping around on the beach drunk. No tern was left unstoned.

Walt
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 Posted: Tue Mar 5th, 2019 05:52 pm

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Triple Option wrote:
boomermet wrote:
Walt wrote:
Triple Option wrote:
Wasn't feeling well earlier, but went ahead and grilled up some hot dogs and brats. My neighbor, who raises birds, smelled them, and said he'd trade me a bird for one of the brats. I said sure. I guess it was a bad idea, because I took a tern for the wurst.
Good thing I pointed out a tern ... otherwise you would never have gotten this joke. :lol:

Was at the beach one day and the terns were really bothering us so we started throwing stones at them. Believe me no stones were left unterned

Sort of like the guy who got his kicks from pouring beer in a pan for the birds at the beach. The barley or something in the beer attracted them, and they guzzled it down, and were flopping around on the beach drunk. No tern was left unstoned.


I assume you make these tern things up as you go.

K2C Sooner
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 Posted: Wed Mar 6th, 2019 05:07 am

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Nice tackle and no pads.:dude:

K2C Sooner
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 Posted: Wed Mar 6th, 2019 05:13 am

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Head thumper....

K2C Sooner
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 Posted: Wed Mar 6th, 2019 05:13 am

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Row...Row...your boat....

Last edited on Wed Mar 6th, 2019 05:30 am by K2C Sooner

K2C Sooner
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 Posted: Wed Mar 6th, 2019 05:16 am

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Aint that a kick in the ....

Triple Option
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 Posted: Thu Mar 14th, 2019 05:49 pm

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Today is 3/14, which as you all well aware, is National Pi Day.

Who was the heftiest knight at King Arthur’s round table? Sir Cumference, because he ate too much pi.



























K2C Sooner
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 Posted: Thu Mar 14th, 2019 07:27 pm

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K2C Sooner
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 Posted: Thu Mar 14th, 2019 07:31 pm

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K2C Sooner
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 Posted: Thu Mar 14th, 2019 07:37 pm

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boomermet
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 Posted: Thu Mar 14th, 2019 07:41 pm

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 A pizza has a radius z and thickness a. Its volume is pizza (or pi*z*z*a)

jwsooner
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 Posted: Thu Mar 14th, 2019 08:28 pm

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K2C Sooner wrote:


I think his son lives in Duncan.

sybarite
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 Posted: Thu Mar 14th, 2019 08:37 pm

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K2C Sooner wrote: Just let him think he won to perpetuate the SEC bias.

Triple Option
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 Posted: Fri Mar 15th, 2019 02:42 am

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Triple Option
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 Posted: Fri Mar 15th, 2019 02:45 am

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Triple Option
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 Posted: Fri Mar 15th, 2019 02:49 am

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Triple Option
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 Posted: Fri Mar 15th, 2019 02:54 am

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What do you get when divide the moon's circumference by it's diameter?

Pi in the sky.

Triple Option
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 Posted: Fri Mar 15th, 2019 02:54 am

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An opinion without 3.14 is just an onion.

Triple Option
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 Posted: Fri Mar 15th, 2019 03:01 am

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SwampSooner
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 Posted: Fri Mar 15th, 2019 07:13 pm

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The old farmer was hosting a party for his son who had returned from college.  He quieted the guests and turned to his son and said, "I have paid slave and scrimped all my life  so you could get an education, so say something smart they taught you."


The boy replied PI R squared.


The old farmer became very red in the face and start cursing. Then he bitterly spit out "I spent so much money on that school and they teach you that?  Everyone knows pie are round,  cornbread are square!"

Last edited on Fri Mar 15th, 2019 07:13 pm by SwampSooner

Triple Option
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 Posted: Sun Mar 17th, 2019 01:20 pm

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And for St. Patrick's Day . . .

An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman go into a bar and order a beer. It's sort of a dive, there are flies buzzing everywhere, and sure enough, when they get to their table, they all have a fly in their beer.

The Englishman pushes his glass away and says "That's bloody disgusting! I'm not drinking that lot."

The Scotsman plucks the fly out and flicks it away and takes a big drink and says "Oond sshe sstill tastes joost ash ssweet!"

The Irishman plucks out his fly, then shakes it over his glass and says "Go on with you nooow ya little mooch. Spit it ooowt! SPIT It OOOWT!"

Triple Option
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 Posted: Mon Mar 18th, 2019 12:49 pm

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