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SoonerTimes Home > SoonerTimes > OU Sports > Off-topic, off-season, and off-the-wall – your favorite jokes, puns, or one-liners


Off-topic, off-season, and off-the-wall – your favorite jokes, puns, or one-liners
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Triple Option
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 Posted: Mon Feb 11th, 2019 04:26 am

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Walt
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 Posted: Mon Feb 11th, 2019 02:26 pm

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Triple Option wrote:


The revolver that guy is shooting looks like a S&W 460. If that is a 460 he is lucky he didn't get his nose broken or a concussion. He had what looked like thick cloth with a very poor hand hold.

Depending on the load he could have been seriously injured. Some people are idiots. Early in the release of this weapon there has been some serious injuries. There is a video of a kid whose parents bought him one. On his first shot he had two fingers in front of the cylinder. The blow back cut the ends off of those fingers.

I tried to find the video but it has been deleted.

MoSooner2
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 Posted: Tue Feb 12th, 2019 05:25 am

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Why women live longer than men...

https://www.facebook.com/officialclaywalker/videos/345512542875634/

SwampSooner
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 Posted: Tue Feb 12th, 2019 04:29 pm

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MoSooner2 wrote: Why women live longer than men...
https://www.facebook.com/officialclaywalker/videos/34551254287563
Why do husbands die before their wives?  They want to.

Triple Option
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 Posted: Fri Feb 15th, 2019 04:38 am

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My aunt Millie died at my 10th birthday party. It really shook me up. I mean, I still like to have birthday parties, but now I'm a lot more careful about what I wish for.

Triple Option
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 Posted: Sat Feb 16th, 2019 03:30 am

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When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, on a bike he had just bought with his graduation money. And I could just have his motorcycle.

Triple Option
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 Posted: Sat Feb 16th, 2019 03:38 am

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An 89 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun. So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle. And do you know what happened?"

Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No."

The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"

"That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear."

The doctor replied "That's kind of what I'm getting at . . ."

Triple Option
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 Posted: Mon Feb 18th, 2019 02:04 am

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Never apologize! Never explain!

Sorry, but that's my motto.

Triple Option
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 Posted: Mon Feb 18th, 2019 02:10 am

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When the doctor told me I'd never be able to talk again, I was speechless!

K2C Sooner
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 Posted: Mon Feb 18th, 2019 02:51 am

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What this thread needs is a gif....A vision of OU Chinamans last memory of the Spring Game.


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